I'll Never Forget
by Miss Sleuth
Summary: Joe writes letters to his girlfriend after she dies.
1. Never Forget

**A/N: this is my first work so please have a little understanding. Please? I wrote it at 1 in the morning while listening to the last song on Loreena McKinnit's CD The Book of Secrets and then My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. Anyway it came to me while listening. I was apprehensive to put it online but then I thought hey, what the heck? So please tell me what you think and if it's bad enough I'll dispose of it. Maybe more letters if half-way decent. Thanks, the Sleuth.**

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I wish I did but I don't. :(

xxooxxooxx

I miss you.

More than anyone could understand.

I sometimes wonder if even you could understand.

But that's crazy.

You loved me. 

Just like I loved you.

No...love you.

Soul mates.

Forever and always.

I can hear you at times. 

In dreams.

Laughing, crying, singing.

Then your face comes to haunt me.

You soft lips turned up in a smile, a mischievous gleam in your eyes.

Your beautiful face... now gone forever.

Can I ever get over this terrible pain that rips through my heart like a sword.

I see that horrible fire ball, and it only makes the pain worse.

It should have been me!

I should have been the one to die that day!

Not you...me!

I couldn't save you!

Frank held me back!

He did it so wouldn't die too.

But I wonder if it would be better to be dead than live in constant agony. 

I miss you.

Will I ever feel whole again?

Never. 

I will always remember you.

Forever.

As long as I live.

I see the face of the man who killed you and I feel hatred.

How could anyone be so evil?

I almost killed him.

Almost.

But if I killed him I would have been like him.

A murderer.

I could never do that. 

Never.

It wouldn't bring you back.

And Frank was right you wouldn't want it that way would you?

He still didn't pay for what he did really. He would rather die than get caught and face what he did.

And he got his way.

Coward. 

So now I sit here, on my bed, writing to you.

I know you will never get these letters but it makes me feel a bit more whole.

It's like you are here and I can talk to you about anything and everything.

I miss you so, so much.

I will love you always,

xoxo Joe Hardy


	2. My Immortal

**Some requested more entries. Although I don't think I like this one as much as the first. Here's another 1:30am job. You'd think I'd have better things to do at this hour. Like sleep. lol Been listening to My Immortal this time. Does anyone know what Evanescence is talking about in her songs? I'm not that good with lyrics, but My Immortal reminds me of Joe and Iola. It's raining outside and I'm feeling slightly gloomy. Hope the below is to your satisfaction. If there are parts that just don't sound right to you please let me know and I'll try to fix them. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

_**Me - Iola died in the beginning of the first Hardy Boys Casefiles book, Dead on Target. Really recommend this book if you haven't read it.**_

* * *

Dearest Iola, 

It seems like forever since I saw you last.

But then it seems like only yesterday.

So much has happened.

But nothing's happened.

I feel trapped.

Like I'm in a dream.

How many times have I imagined that you would walk

though my front door.

Imagined that we'd hug and kiss.

We'd grow up and marry.

Have kids.

Spend the rest of our lives together.

Isn't that what we had wanted?

We had it all planned out.

Now it seems as though it'll never happen.

As much as it pains me to say it, I've lost hope,

Iola!

I can't keep living on like this!

I've become weary in my search for you.

But still I want to believe that you're alive!

Although everything denies it.

Oh, Iola, I feel so mixed up inside.

Part of me wants to scream you're alive!

That you're not gone!

To deny all the evidence.

The other says that it's impossible.

You're dead.

Gone in the bomb meant for me.

How I wish that it was me!

The guilt I feel is overwhelming at times.

I love you.

I don't want you to ever think that I don't.

But I have to give up.

I hate saying that!

It feels like I've betrayed you.

I haven't.

But I can't keep living like this.

You wouldn't want me to, would you?

That's what Frank says all the time.

I could never stop loving you.

You have a part of my heart.

You took it with you.

And now it looks like I'll never get it back.

But I don't want it back.

It belongs to you.

Forever.

I won't stop writing to you.

It's one thing I hold onto.

One thing that will always remind me of you.

It makes me feel closer to you.

You were always writing in journals.

This journal of letters is for you.

Even if you'll never read them.

I will love you always,

Joe Hardy oxo

* * *

My Immortal 

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just to real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wiped away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just to real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wiped away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just to real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wiped away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

Written by Ben Moody/Amy Lee/D. Hodges Zombies Ate My Publishing, Forthefallen Publishing and Dwight Frye Music, Inc.


	3. Cutest Iola

Cutest Iola,

Do you remember the first time we met?

You were five.

I was six and not fond of girls.

Hard to believe isn't it?

That at one time, Joe Hardy wasn't nuts about girls.

Looking back on pictures now, you were the cutest little girl.

Anyway, I was at the park with Frank and Mum.

We'd been playing in the sandbox for a while and I began to wander off.

I heard a girl crying for help.

I ran to see what was going on and there you were behind a slide trying to get your doll back from an eight-year-old bully.

You kept hitting him and demanding your toy back while he just dangled it over your head.

Of course it had no effect on him.

He was built like a truck compared to us.

But boy did you have spunk!

After a couple seconds of watching, my temper boiled over.

I couldn't stand seeing him do that anymore.

I charged him.

Sure I knew I was going to get a good pounding.

But I couldn't just let him tease you either.

With a cry, I jumped onto his back and grabbed the doll from him.

I quick tossed it to you before he could grab me.

You took your doll and ran off while I faced off against the brute.

The fight was over just about as fast as it started.

A couple of grown-ups came and broke us apart.

You had gone and gotten help.

I wouldn't have admitted it, but boy was I grateful to you!

All I had was a bloody nose.

I was lucky!

Mum, I think, was somewhat secretly proud of me, although she wasn't about to let me know that!

From that day on you would follow me around for the next few years and we became friends.

You claim I was your hero.

But really you saved me from getting pulverized.

Even so you couldn't be convinced otherwise.

Now I wish I could go back and relive those days.

To realize what a blessed gem you were.

All those memories are so bitter-sweet.

They remind me of how much I took you for granted.

And how much I miss you.

How much I long to kiss your sweet lips.

Or gaze into your deep dark eyes.

To hold you one last time and keep you in my arms forever.

Could you ever forgive me for how I teased you that last day?

I was being worse than that bully.

If I hadn't done that thing with the keys and impress that girl, you'd probably still be here.

I wish I had never seen that girl at the mall.

That I had never been so pigheaded.

If you were still here would you forgive me?

How long would it take for us to make up?

I'd like to think that one day you would forgive me.

But as for me, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself.

I don't believe your family has.

Iola, you should see Chet.

He always has a haunted look now.

He's reliving memories just like me.

With each memory comes more pain.

So is it better to forget?

To pretend you never existed?

I couldn't live like that.

When you died you left a gigantic hole in my life.

In my heart.

How are you supposed to ignore something like that?

Frank says we need to remember the good times but not to dwell on the past.

To move on.

But it's hard.

So hard.

I love you.

I'll never forget the good times, XOX Joe Hardy XOX


	4. My Brother, My Partner, My Best Friend

Dearest Iola,

I was fooled.

I fooled myself.

Just like I'm sure many other people have.

Many times I would watch the news, see something tragic happen, and think,

'That'll never happen to me.'

We would take on a case where the client's loved one was killed and again I would think,

'That'll never happen to me.'

It'll never happen.

But it does.

It did.

Death.

It never truely seems real till someone you love dies.

Someone you miss dearly.

I never really understoond the pain that people go through when someone they loved was taken away.

Whenever someone else lost a loved one, I gave my condolances.

Not fully comprehending what the pain must feel like.

Feels like.

At times, I think of Frank and all the dangerous situations we've been in together.

Death has come knocking on our door many times, but we haven't answered.

Yet.

But I'm scared, Iola.

What would I do if something happened to Frank?

My brother:

The one who protects me.

Who helps me when I fall.

He is strong for me when I'm weak.

My partner:

The one who's always there for me.

He stands by me no matter what.

My best friend:

The person who understands me.

Even when I don't understand myself.

He believes in me.

What would I do?

What if I lost him?

Losing you was terrible.

It still is.

I couldn't stand losing Frank as well!

Not him.

Maybe we shouldn't do detective work anymore.

But detective work is what we do.

What we love.

Who we are.

No way could we give that up.

Because a leopard can't change it's spots.

But I don't want to face life without my brother either.

I need to keep him safe.

I won't let anything happen to him.

As long as I live, I'll protect my best friend with my life.

Never let anyone or anything harm Frank.

I lost someone I love.

And I won't lose another.

I wasn't able to protect you, Iola.

And that guilt still haunts me.

I never should have been so foolish.

I just want to go back and change the things I did.

Take back anything I may have ever said to hurt you.

Because I never meant to cause you pain.

I never meant to.

For now I'll take care of my brother, my partner, and my best friend.

And I'll love you always.

xox Joe

* * *

**And a special thanks to several people for their help and encouragement. :)**


End file.
